Over the past decade, gender identity issues among minors have shifted from being a niche topic to a central point of contentious debates, particularly in cases involving divorced or conflicted parents. What was once confined to rare medical cases, such as intersex individuals requiring immediate medical decisions at birth, has evolved into an ongoing public discussion. Today, more and more children and adolescents are seeking to change their names, appearance and behaviors to align with a gender identity different from their biological sex, leaving parents torn between support, opposition or cautious hesitation.
When these discussions enter the realm of divorce disputes, the situation becomes even more complicated. Family courts are well-versed in handling issues like parental alienation, parental competence, and custody arrangements. They have structured lists of welfare-recognized experts for nearly every issue—except for the gender identity of children. There are no protocols, no official experts and no clear guidelines.
As a result, when gender identity issues emerge in divorce conflicts, the default approach becomes delay. Judges tend to avoid making decisions, often postponing rulings until the child grows older, hoping the issue will resolve itself. This reluctance to intervene is reflected in the absence of binding court precedents in such cases. Unlike situations involving COVID-19 vaccinations, where courts were forced to take a stand, the topic of gender identity leaves judges sitting on the fence.
In Israel, gender reassignment procedures for minors are regulated by the Ministry of Health, but with a caveat—the process requires the consent of both parents. While this seems like a standard parental responsibility, the reality becomes far more complex when a minor insists on transitioning and their parents are divided. In such cases, no one truly knows how the story will unfold.
D., a father of a teenager undergoing a gender transition process, knows this struggle all too well. “I didn’t come from a traditional household, but the idea of my child, my own flesh and blood, undergoing such a surgery—it’s simply incomprehensible to me. I’m absolutely opposed to it,” he shared. “But my ex-wife believes it’s the only way for him to finally be happy after years of depression. We brought the matter to court, but there are no answers. The system keeps dragging it out, scheduling hearing after hearing, and it feels like they’d rather not make a decision.”
According to D., even the child hoped the court would provide some clarity. “At 13, he got this idea in his head, and after a year of endless arguments, we turned to the court. But now, two years have passed, and nothing has happened. His depression has only worsened because he realizes that as long as his mom and I remain at odds, he won’t be able to proceed until he’s 18.” D. admitted, “Between us, I’m somewhat relieved by the delays. But there’s no doubt my son is suffering, and his mother is devastated by the uncertainty.”
The child’s distress, combined with the parents’ frustration, highlights how the lack of a judicial resolution directly harms the minor’s well-being. Instead of receiving clear guidance, families are left in limbo, where the uncertainty only deepens the crisis.
The guiding principle, at least on paper, is the “best interests of the child,” a flexible legal term that shifts depending on the judge’s interpretation. According to Israeli parental responsibility and guardianship laws, parents are obligated to act in the child’s best interests and cooperate. But what happens when the child demands one thing, and one parent strongly opposes it?
While parents are required to act in their child’s best interests, and despite the legal ambiguity, children have clear rights—to define their identity and live accordingly. This is a fundamental principle that researchers and legal scholars agree on. However, when these cases enter the courtroom, parents discover there is no clear path forward. Judges avoid making definitive rulings, not out of malice, but often out of genuine concern. Parents who oppose medical interventions usually do so out of sincere worry. Yet without binding precedents, official experts, or structured guidelines, it’s no surprise that no one knows how to reach a resolution.
In an age where “modern families” are already an established reality, the legal tools must be updated and refined. Publishing court rulings and decisions in this field is not just a matter of principle, it is essential for creating legal certainty for minors and their parents and for fostering informed public discourse on complex family issues. Without clear precedents, minors are left without reliable information, and parents are forced to navigate a complicated reality without adequate tools. The absence of published rulings and legal guidance is no coincidence—it is a form of avoidance.
It’s no accident that the state has avoided appointing experts in this field. On the surface, this seems like a purely medical issue, requiring professional opinions like any other diagnosis. But in practice, gender identity extends far beyond medicine. It touches on politics, religion and clashes between opposing worldviews. In a country where every major medical decision—from vaccinations to fertility treatments—requires expert committee approval, it’s telling that when it comes to such a sensitive and contentious topic, the system prefers to stay hands-off.
Making a decision would mean taking a stance, and with the political landmines of religion and state, it’s easier to avoid the issue altogether.
By 2025, it’s time for this issue to be addressed properly. The Ministry of Social Affairs and Social Services must publish a tender to appoint experts in the field of minors’ gender identity, just as there are specialists for other family law matters. This is not just a need—it is an obligation. For the well-being of the child, the parents, the legal and medical systems, and Israeli society as a whole.
How much longer will the state bury its head in the sand? How many children will remain without answers, and how many parents will be left to grapple alone with a system that shirks its responsibilities? It’s time to stop stalling and appoint professionals who can provide clear guidance—before more families fall through the cracks.
Attorney Arthur Shani heads the law firm Arthur Shani & Co., which deals with family law
